May 17, 2012

Here is last week’s article in I-S Magazine, Singapore. The latest article hits the newsstands this Friday!

Why ‘Dinner and a Movie’ Make a Horrible First Date

By Dr. David Tian

How to Date a Girl

If it’s the first date, forget the over-done dinner and a movie idea.

Last week, a female friend told me about an awesomely awkward first date she just had. He took her to an incredibly formal, expensive dining establishment. The conversation was as stilted as the surroundings. She barely knew the guy, so she wondered, “Why is he spending so much on the first date? Is he expecting me to ‘put out’? Why is he trying to impress me? What’s he trying to compensate for?” After an hour of dinner came the movie. When they emerged from the dark theater, they looked at each other and realized despite spending two hours in the dark together, they were still relative strangers.

And then he said, “Well I gotta go now… unless you want to have a sleep over…” She was appalled.

Don’t get me wrong. There are worse first date ideas.

Dating Advice for Men

But dinners are bad on the first date for at least two reasons. On first dates, the man often tries to impress the woman, leading to first date dinners as fancy, fussy affairs, which in turn leads to uncomfortable expectations and accompanying stress on the woman. And the second reason is people never feel sexy on a full stomach.

And movies are bad because they allow for absolutely zero conversation. How are you going to know whether you can connect emotionally with your date if you aren’t able to communicate?

The principles of a good first date are to maximize fun and conversation while minimizing stressful overspending.

How to Date a Woman

Be creative and think outside the box. Try an art gallery date. Wander around and look at beautiful pieces of art together, followed by a coffee break in a nearby artsy cafe.

Or grab a refreshing drink to go and take a nighttime stroll together along the river at Boat Quay. Then get cozy at one of the many lounges nearby for a cocktail and some bite-sized tapas, appetizers, or dessert.

Tips for Men

If you insist on seeing a movie together (because hey, you don’t know if you’ll like your blind date but at least you can enjoy the movie), then at least challenge each other to some arcade games next door first. Loser buys the popcorn or ice cream!

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