In a matter of weeks, this global pandemic has transformed dating and relationships. But just because you cannot actually meet somebody in person does not mean you cannot date.
But this is also not to say that dating in a lockdown is easy.
So, to help you make the most of this newly evolving dating landscape, here are my top five hot tips for finding love during a lockdown.
A. Be More Selective
The key here is to be a lot pickier since it’s now more trouble to meet up, not to mention the increased health risk from leaving your home.
Indeed, you’re better off staying in the courtship phase — getting to know each other more — until you can trust she hasn’t been sneaking off to gallivant through crowded places.
At least for the past 14 days you’ve known her.
If you’re smart, you won’t be risking one-night stands.
And if all goes well during this prolonged courtship period of video dating and trysts 6-feet apart, the next big step is to decide whether to isolate together.
That’s a big jump, from “social distancing” strolls in the park… to moving in together for 14 days.
So now it pays even more to take your time and select the right partner to invest your time and emotions into.
Fortunately, psychology tells us we human beings tend to want what we can’t have.
So she’ll find you even more attractive the higher she perceives your standards to be.
Men who are ready to approach dating from a deeper, more meaningful level — rather than through the lens of a potential, one-off hook-up — will enjoy more success now.
Fortunately for you, I’ve made a complimentary video masterclass on what to look for to determine whether she’s trustworthy, someone you can start letting your guard down with and be vulnerable with. If you haven’t gone through yet, wtf, dude, get on it!
Go here to register for your free Masterclass entitled, “Is She Relationship Material?”
B. Optimize Your Dating Profile
We may all be hunkering down, working in our pajamas for five days straight, and devolving into couch sloths at night (or maybe that’s just me?), but this crisis hasn’t stopped people from swiping left and right. Bumble reports a 23 percent increase in messages sent over the app. Tinder says the volume of messages in the US and Europe are up 25 percent.
Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and other dating apps are actively encouraging users to try video dating, with Bumble reporting that use of their video call feature is up 21 percent in recent days.
So even though you shouldn’t be approaching in bars, clubs, or city streets any more, that doesn’t mean you can’t meet the love of your life while locked up at home!
Time to upgrade your dating profile. For this email, I’ll use the 80/20 rule and focus on the most important factors — the “top of your funnel.”
1) Optimizing your photo is probably the highest leverage point because it’s the first (and maybe the only) item she sees.
This would be worth investing the most time into split-testing, especially when it comes to your lead photo.
A method anyone can use is to upload a section of photos to your Facebook or Instagram profile and see which ones get the most likes and comments. Don’t upload all of them at once since that will just annoy your friends. One every few days with a relevant caption would be a good pace. If you have any recent photos shot and edited by a professional photographer, definitely include those in your testing round. Or, if you already have recent photos on your FB or IG profiles, you can choose from among your most liked photos.
Always lead with your best performing photo, and keep split-testing on your dating app profile itself.
Also, here’s a simple technique that can make a big difference. It’s used by professional photographers when taking portraits — “Squinching”
2) Your Bio is the second biggest factor.
Humor is always a big hit. Who couldn’t use more laughs during this stressful time?
Pair a funny opening with a low investment CTA (call-to-action) at the end. And stick your a brief demonstration or description of your values in between. I call this the “Sandwich” structure.
Here are some short examples of the Sandwich structure (Humor + Your Values + CTA).
Note: Do NOT just copy and paste these. I’m sharing these as examples. Come up with your own versions using the Sandwich structure.
Married to a victoria’s secret model. Trophy baby on the way… just looking for some side action.
Just kidding. I’m single.
experiences > things, quality> quantity, [insert your values here] hands down.
If you’re spontaneous at heart and don’t take life too seriously, then say “Fiddlesticks!” (so I know that you read my bio) 😉
Here’s another one for you:
Ain’t got covid-19, but I’ll still take your breath away.
experiences > things, quality> quantity, [insert your values here] hands down.
If you’re adventurous at heart and have a silly sense of humor, then say “Bamboozle!” (so I know that you read my bio) 😉
That should be enough to illustrate the simple but effective Sandwich structure.
An optimized dating profile works for you 24/7. No swiping required.
C. Master the Medium of Video
Once you’ve matched, you’ll want to level up your screening with a video call. On video, you’ll be able to tell a lot better what type of person she is and whether you two have chemistry.
Besides looking to see whether she’s a good person — someone who has integrity, compassion, and enough maturity to invest in her own psychology — you should also make sure you’re coming across well.
For at least the first couple weeks, you’ll be limited to video calls, so you want to optimize for the medium of video.
This means whatever she can see on her screen and hear through her earbuds.
The fundamentals are even more important now since she’ll only be looking at your face most of the time. So your eye contact, facial expressiveness, and vocal tonality are going to be that much more impactful in determining whether you go past the initial “getting to know you” phase.
(I cover eye contact, facial expressiveness, and vocal tonality thoroughly in multiple modules in my courses Invincible and FreedomU.)
D. Go Online To Offline (GOTO)
At first, you’ll be limited to texting and video calling.
But if you hit it off, you can transition to a socially distanced but romantic stroll in a park, beach, or somewhere idyllic nearby.
Just make sure you go during off-peak hours and that you maintain the appropriate social distance. For your health and for romance.
Use your creativity here.
If you still like her after seeing her in person, you can start prioritizing check-ins with each other and using that as a jumping-off point for further connection. Not only will you be able to monitor her health, but you’ll also show your concern and care.
In this age of social distancing, the prolonged digital courtship phase will force both sides to develop their communication skills more and give you more opportunities to evaluate her character before investing in the next big step…
E. Isolate Together
If you’re a person of conscience and a responsible citizen, you’ll monitor her the minimum 14 days to see whether she has any symptoms. Even then, that’s no guarantee.
What you’ll be looking out for is whether she’s hanging out in other people’s homes or non-essential places during this time.
That would be a big red flag that she’s too immature to delay gratification… and thus can’t be counted on to stay loyal or to do the right thing when it’s difficult.
(Note: If YOU are like that, now you know why you can never find good women.)
The decision whether to quarantine together is a big one. Even for some long-married couples, it can be a strain to be in the same apartment 24/7 for 14 days straight.
You’ll really get to know each other super well during this time, maybe more than you were hoping for. And it’s not exactly a sexy honeymoon to stay in the same house day in, day out, for weeks on end.
Like unprotected sex, isolating together means that whatever she’s got, you’re going to get. So you better be sure she’s worth taking the chance 😉
That’s why Factor #1 is the most important – Be Selective.
The five factors are:
1. Be More Selective
2. Optimize Your Dating App Profile
3. Master the Medium of Video
4. Go Online to Offline (GOTO)
5. Isolate Together
Wishing you and your loved ones good health and happiness,
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