Self-help seems like a viable way to get rid of your neediness or insecurities. But it actually heightens these feelings — and makes you miserable.


Because most self-help gurus, courses, and books promote toxic growth. Fetishizing growth is a recipe for depression, anxiety, and shame.

That’s the bad news.

The good news?

You don’t need “growth” to be happy. In this episode, you’ll discover how self-help leads to toxic growth. And 3 simple ways to avoid the “Toxic Growth Trap” many men fall into.

Listen now.

 Show highlights include:

  • How personal development leads to toxic growth (and how to experience happiness, fulfillment, and love now) (0:25)
  • The insidious way growth makes you needy, unattractive, and miserable (even if it seems like its improving your life) (0:59)
  • Why buying into the “self-help lie” amplifies your neediness and insecurities instead of minimizing them (3:00)
  • The “Toxic Growth Trap” which fills you with anxiety, depression, and shame (and 3 ways to avoid this trap) (4:32)
  • How to create happiness out of thin air today (without hiring a life coach, going through personal development courses, or finding a girlfriend) (9:19)
  • The “Flow” secret for unlocking a state of human existence more pleasurable than having sex (13:52)
  • The weird way accepting more challenges unleashes joy through your veins (14:02)

   Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 15 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to check out my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at now.

For more about David Tian, go here:

    Get access to all my current and future online coaching courses by applying for the Platinum Partnership program today at:


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Note: Scroll Below for Transcription

Transcription coming soon!