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For over a decade, David Tian, Ph.D. — a uniquely qualified therapist, life coach, and former university professor — has coached tens of thousands of people from over 87 countries to achieve happiness and success in their relationships, dating, psychology, and lifestyle.

Dr. Tian has been featured in international media, as well as co-hosting a radio show on national radio and a weekly dating advice column in a national newspaper in Singapore.

The show, “Man Up: Masculinity for the Intelligent Man” (, is David’s way of helping as many people as possible enjoy empowering and fulfilling lives, while contributing to the global understanding of masculinity in modern times. In the show, he takes your questions posed in the Man Up private Facebook group ( and answers based on his experience coaching tens of thousands of students around the world for over a decade.

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“The Man Up Show” Ep.102 – Should You Hook Up With A Girl Who’s Got A Boyfriend?

Should You Hook Up With A Girl Who’s Got A Boyfriend?

  • David Tian Ph.D. tells us why it’s not a good idea to date a girl who is already involved with someone else.
  • David Tian Ph.D. discusses what these actions tell about the woman.
  • In this Man Up episode, David Tian Ph.D. explains why a woman would do this and why you should avoid it.

David Tian: Boom! Stop. This is episode 102 of Man Up and in this episode I answer the question of: Should you hook up with a girl who’s got a boyfriend?


Masculinity for the intelligent man. I’m David Tian, Ph.D. and this is Man Up!

Hey, this is David Tian, Ph.D. and for the past 10 years I’ve been helping tens of thousands of people in over 87 countries attain success in dating and relationships so that they can find love and fulfillment. This is Episode 102 in Man Up, Masculinity for the Intelligent Man.

I’m here in Shanghai at the Shanghai Fashion Week. I just came out of a show by [INAUDIBLE]. I’m here at the corner, just 30 meters from the entrance. It’s a little bit quieter here. In the background you can see Xin Tian Di. Alright, answering questions also because my lavalier mic from my normal camera need to get a new battery and I haven’t gotten it. But I need to shoot out these episodes so I’m going to do is on the phone. I also got good feedback on the two episodes I did on the top of a ski hill so I thought, okay, maybe the quality of the production quality is good enough. I’ll keep shooting, these are a lot easier for me just to shoot them on the fly.

So the question from Man Up on Facebook group, this one comes from PJ. He says, “Hi, David. I want to tell you a story during my polytechnic days. A girl name, Kaye told me she likes me, however, there’s a catch – she has a boyfriend David. If you were in my shoes, what would you do?

She asked me coach her in Math and she told me she wants to be with me. I was caught off guard. I tried my best to turn her away. As a Buddhist I have precepts to adhere to which do not get into immoral relations. Is there a way out of this sticky situation?”

Yeah, you put yourself in this sticky situation PJ; so just don’t go there. Just use some common sense and some will power. So don’t be screwing around with a girl who has a boyfriend. So she wants you to coach her in Math, if you feel like this is a potential red flag just don’t do it unless you want the money, I mean, it’s just a bad situation to be in and she says she likes you but she has a boyfriend.

That tells you a lot about her. So I’m assuming that you want something, I mean, like you say your Buddhist you don’t want to be in immoral situations I’m assuming that means that you don’t want to just hook up with her. In that case, if you want to be in a relationship with her this is a really bad sign.

If she’s doing this to her boyfriend then what the fuck do you think she’s going to do with you later on? This is a really bad sign. She’s not ready for a relationship. She cannot handle or be trusted in a relationship. That’s all I need to know about it. She’s already got a boyfriend. She’s trying to string you along, either way it’s bad. It looks really bad on her.

So, there you go. I would just say, “Don’t do it.” This is probably going to be the shortest Man Up video ever. It’s a good thing because my arm is actually getting kind of sore. I mean, I just did arms a couple of days ago. Okay, cool. So PJ, there’s your answer, don’t do it. Don’t be so desperate that you need money, so that you would do something like that and if you really a devout Buddhist don’t do immoral things then just own up to it.

There you go, so join the private Facebook group I’ll see you inside the group, that’s where you can ask your questions and until next time.