Many high achievers treat vulnerability as if it’s a four-letter word. And it’s easy to understand why: they’ve been told leaders must keep their emotions in check, and be level-headed and strong in the face of challenges.
But the misunderstandings about vulnerability aren’t just unfortunate, they’re devastating. Because they lead to people going numb to their feelings and relationships, all while convincing themselves they’re doing the right thing.
In this episode I’m going to cut through the fog and show you what vulnerability really looks like. I’ll explain how vulnerability isn’t weakness. It’s the missing piece that can restore your ability to lead at work, love at home, and actually live your life instead of watching it go by.

Almost everything you’ve learned about emotional “strength” is not only a flat-out lie, but completely backwards. Toughing it out, staying in control, never letting others see you sweat – these aren’t signs of Almost everything you’ve learned about emotional “strength” is not only a flat-out lie, but completely backwards. Toughing it out, staying in control, never letting others see you sweat – these aren’t signs of emotional strength, but emotional blindness.
And emotional blindness comes with a steep cost that nobody deserves to pay: It leaves you empty, unfulfilled (even after milestone achievements), and depressed.
Why?
Because the old way of being emotionally strong is really fear in disguise. And fear is the ultimate mind-killer.
That’s the bad news.
The good news?

Let’s stop pretending this is just a problem for soldiers and politicians.
The “human shields excuse” isn’t just some abstract wartime tactic—it’s the same twisted reasoning people use every day to justify hurting others, dodging accountability, or compromising their integrity.
It’s what lets you blow up a relationship and blame the other person for making you do it. It’s how you rationalize crossing a line—then sleep at night because technically, it wasn’t your fault.
In war, this excuse gets innocent people killed.
In your life, it’s killing your peace of mind, your self-respect, your trust in yourself.

Too many people are numb to life, unable to enjoy themselves and their relationships even if they’ve achieved great things.
The real problem isn’t intelligence, skill, or drive. It’s a failure to process emotions properly because they’ve lost the ability to use their “heart-mind.” Sadly, most of us have been subtly conditioned to not even know we’re approaching this all wrong.
Thankfully, you can learn how to regain clarity of your heart-mind. And once you do, and stick with it, the results are astounding.

The Achiever’s Curse is a deadly one. It starts subtle at first. But left unchecked long enough, it seeps into every aspect of your life, stealing joy and fulfillment every step of the way. Too many achievers don’t realize this insidious curse until they feel the intense pangs of regret on their deathbed.
Far too late, in other words.
I want to help you avoid this terrible fate…

Perhaps the most important skill an intelligent person can learn is the Dao of Decision Making.
Making tough, high-stakes decisions doesn’t come naturally to high achievers because they’ve been fooled into valuing their intelligence more than their emotions. But every decision has its roots in emotions… and relying solely on logic and data for these decisions is a quick way to make a decision that wrecks your marriage, your internal harmony, and even your future fulfillment.
In other words, there is a better way to access the deep kind of wisdom that makes the answer to high-stake decisions obvious.

Most high achievers learned at a young age that emotions were distractions. This early lesson inspired much of their success… but it came at a terrible cost:
It develops emotional blindspots that quietly, patiently, and relentlessly sabotage you.
Here’s the thing about emotional blindspots:
No matter how much you try to stuff them down and pretend they don’t exist, they don’t simply disappear. Instead, they move underground. They become sneakier. More insidious. And more sabotaging.
Worst part?
There’s only one way to address your emotional blindspots in a way that builds emotional strength and mastery. And it’s not hustling harder, doing more mental gymnastics with your cognitive behavioral therapist, or becoming a master at stress management.
The real solution goes far deeper than these knee-jerk reactions most high achievers have.

Most high achievers learned at a young age that emotions were distractions. This early lesson inspired much of their success… but it came at a terrible cost:
It develops emotional blindspots that quietly, patiently, and relentlessly sabotage you.
Here’s the thing about emotional blindspots:
No matter how much you try to stuff them down and pretend they don’t exist, they don’t simply disappear. Instead, they move underground. They become sneakier. More insidious. And more sabotaging.
Worst part?
There’s only one way to address your emotional blindspots in a way that builds emotional strength and mastery. And it’s not hustling harder, doing more mental gymnastics with your cognitive behavioral therapist, or becoming a master at stress management.
The real solution goes far deeper than these knee-jerk reactions most high achievers have.

Most high achievers take pride in the fact that they’re not too emotional. They stay cool under pressure, act like nothing bothers them, wear their emotional armor like a badge.
But one day, they wake up and realize that they’re a mere observer of their life. They’re not actually living their own life. Instead, they feel empty, like something’s missing that they can’t quite put their finger on.
Worst part?
They don’t realize that the emotional armor they wore so proudly is the exact thing preventing them from experiencing all the good life has to offer: Joy, love, connection, growth.

There are certain emotional scripts you learned in your formative years that are running your life today. These emotional patterns aren’t the enemy. They don’t mean that you’re broken as a person or flawed in an insidious way.
Instead, it simply means that you’re not aware of these emotional scripts.
But if you’re been stuck in the same loops for years, trying harder, doing the same thing over and over, something deeper is necessary. In fact, gritting your teeth and trying harder will only give these emotional scripts more power over you and your behavior.