How to Trust Yourself When You Keep Changing Your Mind | (#107) Beyond Success: Psychology & Philosophy for Achievers, with David Tian, Ph.D.

How to Trust Yourself When You Keep Changing Your Mind | (#107) Beyond Success: Psychology & Philosophy for Achievers, with David Tian, Ph.D.

You’ve thought it through, and your decision makes sense. But then another concern comes up, and you can make just as good a case for doing something else.

After a while, you start to wonder whether you can trust your own judgment.

Being smart can make this harder, because you can build a convincing argument for whichever option you feel most pulled toward.

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What Would You Pay to Get Five Years Back? | (#106) Beyond Success: Psychology & Philosophy for Achievers, with David Tian, Ph.D.

What Would You Pay to Get Five Years Back? | (#106) Beyond Success: Psychology & Philosophy for Achievers, with David Tian, Ph.D.

Failure is easy to notice.

You build the wrong company, make a bad investment, or choose the wrong direction, and eventually the result tells you something went wrong.

Success can actually be harder.

Let’s say the company grows, the numbers improve, the sacrifices keep paying off.

Meanwhile, you may be giving up time with your spouse, your children, your health, or years of your life that you can never get back.

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How to Live So Death Doesn’t Feel Too Soon | (#105) Beyond Success: Psychology & Philosophy for Achievers, with David Tian, Ph.D.

How to Live So Death Doesn’t Feel Too Soon | (#105) Beyond Success: Psychology & Philosophy for Achievers, with David Tian, Ph.D.

There’s a difference between wanting more time to live your life and needing more time to live your life.

You can want another twenty years because you love being alive. Or you can need them because you still haven’t built the relationship, started the family, or spent enough time with the friends you kept meaning to see.

The reasons for postponing those things may have been sensible. But the same reasons can keep you postponing them for another decade or more.

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Would Your Life Matter If No One Remembered You?  | (#104) Beyond Success: Psychology & Philosophy for Achievers, with David Tian, Ph.D.

Would Your Life Matter If No One Remembered You?  | (#104) Beyond Success: Psychology & Philosophy for Achievers, with David Tian, Ph.D.

What if your life disappeared so completely that no one remembered you?

No family stories. No company. No reputation. No influence. No trace that you were ever here.

Would that make your life meaningless?

There’s an award-winning episode of Star Trek that gets at this question better than most philosophy books.

It also exposes a bargain many of us make without noticing it: we treat the present as a kind of downpayment on future permanence.

Live longer. Build something that lasts. Leave a legacy. Make sure some part of you continues.

All of those things can be good.

But none of them is what makes a life worth living in the first place.

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What If Success Brings You the Wrong Life? | (#103) Beyond Success: Psychology & Philosophy for Achievers, with David Tian, Ph.D.

What If Success Brings You the Wrong Life? | (#103) Beyond Success: Psychology & Philosophy for Achievers, with David Tian, Ph.D.

A life can look respectable, successful, even enviable, and still be badly chosen.

The frightening part is that this usually doesn’t happen because of one reckless decision.

It happens through years of reasonable choices.

Another demanding stage at the company. Another opportunity worth taking. Another reason to wait before making room for a serious relationship, children, old friends, or aging parents.

Each decision makes sense on its own.

Then one day, those decisions have added up to a life.

In Tolstoy’s The Death of Ivan Ilyich, a capable and respected man discovers too late that the very success that kept rewarding him also helped him avoid asking what his life was actually becoming.

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What Success Can’t Tell You About Life | (#102) Beyond Success: Psychology & Philosophy for Achievers, with David Tian, Ph.D.

What Success Can’t Tell You About Life | (#102) Beyond Success: Psychology & Philosophy for Achievers, with David Tian, Ph.D.

Success can reward a bad trade for years before the costs become obvious.

The decisions usually look reasonable at the time. One more demanding year. One more important opportunity. One more stretch of travel. Marriage can wait. The children will understand. Friends will still be there.

And professionally, it may keep paying off.

But that’s what makes the mistake so hard to catch.

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The Brutal Cost of Keeping Your Options Open | (#101) Beyond Success: Psychology & Philosophy for Achievers, with David Tian, Ph.D.

The Brutal Cost of Keeping Your Options Open | (#101) Beyond Success: Psychology & Philosophy for Achievers, with David Tian, Ph.D.

You’ve spent years getting better at managing your time. But what if time management has been helping you avoid the harder problem?

Productivity works beautifully when the goal is getting more done. But some of the most important things in life can’t be accelerated.

This episode explores themes from Oliver Burkeman’s Four Thousand Weeks and a possibility most productivity systems never ask you to consider: maybe you don’t have a time-management problem. Maybe you have a decision problem.

And if that’s true, getting more efficient won’t solve it.

You have to decide what truly deserves the years before those years are gone.

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